To My wife
So I took your advice...
So I took your advice. When you were dying in the hospital you woke from your coma and spoke to me for a few minutes. You told me to find a good woman and have a great life. I thank you every day for this extraordinary gift. You liberated me of any guilt about remarriage, and I found someone so special that even your mother loves her. Her husband died tragically, and she has a baby boy and girl who have never known their father. They needed me so much; I am convinced you arranged all of this from wherever you are. You were always so good at manipulating things behind the scenes. It seems like our twenty-two years together went by in the blink of an eye, but I find myself remembering moments of unrestrained joy, like the night we nearly froze to death watching the Northern Lights or watching the sun set over Narragansett Bay. I will always hold you in my heart.
It’s been a difficult week...
It’s been a difficult week. The singer Whitney Houston died late last week. You couldn’t know this, but shortly after you died I took some time off and went to the movies a lot. Alone, of course. I guess I was hoping to sense your presence next to me after the decades of movies we sat through together. The movie “The Bodyguard” starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner was about to be released, and every movie I went to had coming attractions featuring the song “I Will Always Love You” and each time I hear it I’d burst into tears. There’s one verse that ate me alive:
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.
One afternoon I went to see Francis Ford Coppolla’s “Nosferatu,” and the preview for “The Bodyguard” with that damned song nearly drove me mad. I was relieved when the movie began, but things got worse when I realized that this retelling of Dracula focused on eternal love of two souls through the centuries. I was a complete mess.
So I stayed away from TV and radio this week until a couple of days after they buried Whitney. I still can’t stand to hear that song, I so strongly identify it with your passing and how much you meant to me. I wish you love.