AfterTalk was created by Lisa Bogatin and Larry Lynn. It is a place of Comfort, Sharing and Insight for those who have experienced loss or are supporting a Loved One in Hospice Care.
Lisa Bogatin's Story
My father died June 11, 2007; one week later my friend Barb's mother’s partner died. One week later my friend Wendy's father died; exactly one month later, to the day, my friend Bonnie's father-in-law died.
Death hit my screen in spades.
Death changed every family relationship I have. If my father were alive, HE would set everyone straight! I truly believed this and wished with all my heart I could share my anguish with him. Out of this the idea of AfterTalk began to take shape in my mind.
Sometimes, I overflow with what I want to tell him.
Sometimes, I get angry that he's not helping me out of my dilemma, and gently tell him so.
Sometimes, I just feel filled with gratitude that he was my father, and tell him this too.
He took such joy watching and being with my children. He would get such a kick out of the fact my daughter had a boy ask her to a dance. I can’t wait to tell him.
And this........is the kind of conversation that continues.
Hopefully, AfterTalk will be your venue, your forum, your space to share your private conversation with your deceased loved one.
I hope it brings you solace, inspiration, completion, joy, gratitude and peace.
Larry Lynn’s Story
Long ago I was in my boss's office when he received a call informing him that he had won the very prestigious Peabody Award for a television special he had produced.
He looked crestfallen, and I asked why he appeared so troubled. He told me something I never forgot; when he got the news his first impulse was to pick up the phone and call his father who had died three years earlier.
My first wife, Vanessa, died after a long battle with cancer at the young age of 42. We had been together 22 years and as close as couple could be. I missed her so much that I took her advice to heart; in her last conscious moments before lapsing into a final coma, she told me to "find a good woman and have a great life."
I was twice blessed when I met my second wife, Wendy, a widow with two little ones who became my only children. Then it happened to me.
My daughter was sitting at my computer clicking the link that would reveal whether or not she was accepted for early decision at one of the top universities in America. When the school's familiar logo popped up with a big "Congratulations" across it, we all burst into tears of joy. As I hugged my beloved wife, daughter and son, my mind was telling me to call my first wife, Vanessa, dead now thirteen years. And I remembered my boss and his Peabody, and his impulse to call his father.
Since then I've lost my dad, a wonderful father-in-law, a cousin and a brother-in-law who was dear to me, and in each case have noted that in moments of great joy or great despair I have had that impulse to call or write them.
My wife and I have been close friends of Lisa and her husband Barry, and one day a couple of years after both Wendy and Lisa lost fathers they adored, we discovered that we had independently been thinking about starting a website that encouraged the grief-stricken to find peace by writing directly to our departed loved ones.
I look back with what I've accomplished in life with pride. I've raised two spectacular children, and loved and been loved by two outstanding women.
If, through AfterTalk, Lisa and I can bring comfort and insight to those who have suffered a loss, I will be completely content.