Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


A Father’s Death: Struggling with the “what ifs?”

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My father had schizophrenia and I am so proud of how he managed his illness. He will continue to be an inspiration to me and I do direct my son, who struggles with mental illness, to grandpa’s example. My father found that walking cleared his thoughts and decreased the symptoms of depression.

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


My teenage son was electrocuted…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My teenage son was electrocuted at home accidentally almost 20 years ago.  My counselor is not happy with my saying he was killed.  I know the difference because about three decades ago, another toddler son  died from a cerebral aneurysm , so in my eyes one died and one was killed and to me

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


An Oncology Unit Nurse Asks…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I work on an oncology unit in a large metropolitan hospital as a senior nurse, supervising several RNs and nursing assistants who care for many seriously ill patients.  Although most of the care we provide supports their recovery, we also lose many patients each week, some of whom are offered palliative care

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Hospice Bereavement Coordinator asks about reaching out…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My question is related to the bulk of my role as a hospice bereavement coordinator, which is to reach out via telephone to identified bereaved family members of our hospice patients after the patient has passed.  The bereavement model employed is a “clean break” model, meaning the team that cared for the family prior

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


My Daughter Took Her Own Life

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My only child, my 16 year old daughter, took her own life just one month ago.  She showed no signs at all.  Straight A student, worked as cashier part time, saving money for college.  She just finished her College Boards and got an amazing score.  I know this wasn’t planned–she had placed orders

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Therapist question about a mother who lost a son and is now experiencing complicated grief.

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’m a family therapist who has been working with a couple who have lost a young adult son in a drowning accident in a distant country, and in which the mother has remained in a deep, unshakeable grief for over three years, for two of which I have been working with her and her

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


I’ve lost all my parents and siblings

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I’ve lost all my parents and siblings.  Each one I’ve grieved and tried to move on, but now that I’ve lost my last remaining family member, my sister, five weeks ago, why do I feel like I’m grieving for them all now? I’ve never felt so lost and alone now that I’ve lost

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Anticipatory Grieving: mourning the living

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Your recent reply to the woman widowed over 25 years ago resonated with me, even though my husband is still alive.  I am a member of the Well Spouse Association, a national nonprofit organization which provides peer support to those caring for chronically ill or disabled spouses. “Chronic sorrow”…”bleaching out of emotions”…”surviving but not thriving”… “sense of not fitting

Continue reading

Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts