Anticipatory Grieving: mourning the living

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Your recent reply to the woman widowed over 25 years ago resonated with me, even though my husband is still alive.  I am a member of the Well Spouse Association, a national nonprofit organization which provides peer support to those caring for chronically ill or disabled spouses. “Chronic sorrow”…”bleaching out of emotions”…”surviving but not thriving”… “sense of not fitting

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Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


…my friend’s 16 year old daughter committed suicide…

Dr. Neimeyer, Last week, my friend’s 16 year old daughter committed suicide. As far as what is known, there is nothing that indicates the “why”. As I read through your materials, I have learned that we try to bring an understanding to the un-understandable and it eats at us. He and his ex-wife divorced a

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Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Deadly car accident takes two daughters

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I was recently in a deadly car accident that took the lives of my two beautiful, funny, and loving baby girls, ages 6 and 8. The accident also resulted in my surviving teenage year old daughter being a paraplegic, and my husband having a TBI, and several fractures in his face, arm, leg

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Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Grief and Depression

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, Following the death of my 22 year old daughter of a drug overdose two years ago, I of course have struggled with my grief, but also had two very distinct periods of depression, each approximately 6 months long, filled with classic symptoms of lack of energy to do anything, loss of interest

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Complicated Grief after multiple losses, now cut off from the world…

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, As a director of a bereavement center myself, I am very concerned about a friend. Her mother died about 4 years ago. Her father died about 8 months ago. Then, her son, as far as we know, died of an accidental overdose about one month after her father. The truth is it

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Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts


Her mother died suddenly

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I am a marriage and family therapist with a 55 year old female client who is the only surviving member of her family  Her mother died suddenly and unexpectedly last year and she’s given up all her many interests.  She is full of anxiety and fear–seems agoraphobic–having panic attacks and hot flashes

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I lost my husband in an accident over 25 years ago

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, I lost my husband in an accident over 25 years ago while we were getting ready for his grandmother’s funeral. There were so many unanswered questions, as our daughter was only a year old and she is  now nearing 30. But my question is why I still have my moments of tears and

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Send Comfort, Flowers and Gifts